The Nature of Childhood

During a peewee soccer game, one tiny player stared up into the sky, his eyes intently following the path of an orange butterfly. The coach and many spectators loudly called his name, but the ball rolled right past him without notice. His attention was elsewhere … in nature.

Children innately love nature. They crave connection with the living environment.

As they skip and tumble through the grass, collecting handfuls of leaves or carefully studying the movement of an insect, we may be reminded how much the ever-changing canvas of earth is a vital part of life.

Yet, according to Richard Louv, author of Last Child in the Woods, only 6 percent of children ages 9 to 13 spend time playing outdoors apart from when they’re at school.

For a number of reasons, including increased access to technology, children are spending less time outdoors and in unstructured play than ever before. For many parents and educators, this sparks concern that they could become increasingly isolated from the essential experience of exploring their natural world.

Most adults can recall summer days spent picking wild berries, counting the legs on a woolly bear caterpillar, making daisy or dandelion chains or scooping polliwogs into a jar with the hope of growing a frog. These memories became pivotal moments of childhood that lit up our creativity and ignited our sense of awe.

We learned important things about life and the world through this unstructured play time. It’s why we seek outdoor camps and summer programs for our children.

Engaging the Senses

Montessori education is known for using nature and the living environment to engage a child’s senses. Students gain creative control over their indoor and outdoor spaces through purposeful activities that teach responsibility for self, others and the environment. This encourages hands-on exploration and participation that takes awareness and learning to new heights.

In my parent outreach work at West Hills Montessori, one comment I hear frequently from visitors is, “The children seem so happy.” They are happy because there’s diversity, self-direction and a sense of balance built into their day.

Instead of turning to the nearest adult (or computer) for answers to their questions, Montessori kids explore indoor and outdoor classrooms which serve as laboratories where they make real life discoveries about the world. This gives their learning a deep and relevant meaning that stays with them long after they leave the school.

For this reason and many others, Montessori is a great choice for many families. It’s also a source of inspiration during the summer months for parents who want to infuse a little more nature into their child’s experience.

Here are a few suggestions you can try at home to keep nature play at the forefront of your child’s summer experience:

Offer tools of outdoor exploration.

Binoculars, gloves, magnifying glasses, bug nets and boxes are essential tools of outdoor exploration. Your child will use these in ways that amaze and delight you.

Plant and tend a family garden.

Even the smallest outdoor space can be transformed by the addition of garden rows or containers for planting, a (child-sized) bench for working and resting, and a variety of (adult- and child-sized) tools such as shovels, trowels, pruners, watering cans and gloves. Collaborate with your child to choose plants, vegetables and fruits you will enjoy tending and harvesting together.

Familiarize yourself with the plant and animal species that surround you.

Walking and hiking with children is a lovely way to connect with each other while engaging more deeply with the natural world. Try keeping an adventure journal in which family members can record, with words or drawings or any media you choose, plant and animal sightings and other noteworthy nature events.

Go outside and play!

The same technology that has the potential to distract our children from the activities that ignite their imaginations can isolate us as well. When we unplug electronics for a little while and step outdoors to play with our children, we may rediscover a magical world that calls us to slow down and enjoy the journey more.

-Delila

This article appeared in Portland Family Magazine in June, 2013.  See more at: http://www.portlandfamily.com/posts/the-nature-of-childhood/

Liberating the mothers of humanity

Patience is also a form of action”  ~ Auguste Rodin

It’s tricky being a woman.  We tend to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders and believe we’re responsible for everything around us.

Our children make bad decisions and we question our parenting skills.

A business deal falls through and we wonder how we could have saved it.

A partner is acting strange and we assume it’s somehow our fault.

As women and mothers, we have the power to influence the emotional wellness of those around us, especially our loved ones. Yet, we often take on this responsibility at our own expense.

I took  an unexpected and unwelcome hiatus from this blog due to a series of events and circumstances which have shaken my emotional foundation and left me temporarily at a loss for words.  Over the last several months two beloved family members have passed away and, as if that isn’t enough to manage,  I’ve been named in an ugly, costly and time-consuming lawsuit. As a result, any sense of “normalcy” seems to be lost for the moment.

Despite the physical, emotional and financial trauma surrounding my present circumstances, there are still bills to pay,  deadlines to meet, meals to prepare, and a never-ending pile of laundry calling my name.  And there is a hard truth to face: It’s time to truly accept that life sometimes brings circumstances beyond my control.

I realize it’s time to stop trying to control my circumstances, and return to the care of the ONE THING over which I have some control… myself.

To me, caring for myself means the occasional, unapologetic soak in the tub with a gin and tonic and a trashy gossip magazine.  It means sleeping in ‘til noon from time to time, adding a line item for massage to my monthly budget, and giving myself  permission to walk away from the computer in favor of back-to-back episodes of Glee with my son.   As a mother, business owner, and the sole bread-winner in my family, these are guilty pleasures I rarely allow myself and I’m realizing… maybe it’s time I should!

What guilty pleasure can you allow yourself today?  Choose a good one and please, share it in the comment section below for other Wize Mamas to see.

Life can come at us pretty fast and, as women, we feel it deeply when things aren’t going as planned.  Here’s to liberating ourselves from the need to be the mothers of humanity. And here’s to nurturing ourselves with what we need to be and feel our best.

It’s good to be back.

Much love until next time,

Delila

Holiday Hype got you down?

While the central premise of marketing revolves around the idea that buying things will make us “happy”,  a study of materialistic values among children determined that kids who have the most in a material sense tend to be the least generous, the least content, and the less confident (From Natural Life Magazine, March/April 2008). This revelation comes as no surprise to any parent who has witnessed the tearful tantrums of a child caught up in the vicious cycle of  begging for “things” – candy, toys or the immediate object of their desire – only to discover that the joy at having acquired the thing is fleeting and empty.

Yet, this is what we face as consumers… holiday hype and commercial marketing often seems to overshadow the real meaning of the season.

What if commercial holidays were no more worthy of celebration than the loss of a tooth; the changing of the seasons; the sprouting of a seed; the birth of a child; or the historical milestones of any culture?  And what if we honored each of these milestones with equal reverence and without regard for commercial hype?

I offer these few simple suggestions for slowing down and staying connected to the things that really matter this holiday season:

Walk outdoors and collect objects from nature – pinecones, autumns last leaves, rocks and twigs can make a festive winter table decoration.

Keep a Gratitude Journal: Every member of the family can share one thing for which they are thankful. This becomes a lovely keepsake treasure of shared moments.

Volunteer: There is perhaps no better way to remain mindful of the real meaning of “giving” than to serve those less fortunate.

Feed the birds: Large pinecones smeared with nut butter and rolled in birdseed make a tasty treat for birds…hang them in a place where you can observe what happens

I wish you a holiday season filled with Joy, Peace, Gratitude & Love.

Until next time,

Delila

Kindling the Flame of Creativity

The creative is the place where no one else has ever been…What you’ll discover is yourself. ~Alan Alda

This post is dedicated to all who tirelessly pursue the creative process.

Creativity involves learning techniques and exploring pathways and discovering one’s unique passions and gifts. For some, creativity is a state of being in the world.

Have you ever experienced a moment of inexpressible, ineffable… something… while immersed in a creative process like singing or drawing or writing?  I say these are the magical moments which keep us anchored to our life dreams and overarching goals. These are the moments we wish for our children, and what inspires us to enroll them in piano and art.

My creative course took a turn twenty five years ago, while observing a group of Montessori preschool children at work and play. I had an epiphany about the vital creativity at work in children; creativity which was not bestowed by a teacher but rather discovered, explored and nurtured by the children themselves.

Creativity is about impulse and passion and choice.  It’s about freedom and flow. It’s about beauty. And it’s about keeping the flame alive. Here are a few  practical tips for encouraging creativity in children and families. What are your favorite tools and tricks? Please take a moment to post your comment:

Provide Opportunity and Choice.

When a spark of creativity is ignited, it’s nice to have some expressive tools and materials at your fingertips. By providing a space and materials with which to work, your child can experience the freedom of choosing how to express a creative impulse or idea. I recommend providing a variety of supplies, organized in boxes or baskets, on a low shelf that is accessible to every member of the family.  Here are some of the basics:

  • Paper – a wide variety of colors and textures and sizes.
  • Easel – great for painting, chalk, and for large collage projects
  • Magazines or catalogs; photos – great for collage
  • Pencils, markers, crayolas and/or oil pastels, and chalk
  • Paints (such as tempura and watercolor)
  • Scissors – different types, including those with fun-shaped edges
  • Glue – squeeze and stick varieties; and a hot glue gun for older kids.
  • Clay – Earthen or Fimo (polymer clay) for sculpture
  • Popsicle sticks – or craft sticks – great for a variety of projects
  • Seasonal items, like autumn leaves, holiday wrap, glitter, stickers… anything goes!
  • Cloths or rags – a basket full for clean up – and a place to put the dirty cloths
  • Plastic or vinyl placemats – to protect works spaces from paint, glue, glitter etc.
  • Aprons – one to fit every artist in the house :)

Establish and Uphold Clear Guidelines of Use.

No parent wants to find tempura paint on the ceiling or clay in the carpet.  Simple guidelines/rules are necessary for maintaining order and keeping everyone safe, but should not inhibit creativity.  These three simple rules allow the individual a large measure of creative liberty within clearly defined limits:

1.      Respect for Self

2.      Respect for Others (anyone around me)

3.      Respect for Environment (immediate, local and global)

Any activity or creative expression that is not respectful of the individual, others, or the space (environment) should not be allowed.  If a material is purposefully misused – like when paint appears on the ceiling, walls or in a siblings hair – it should be removed for a time, and brought back only if the child agrees to use it appropriately.

Demonstrate Basic Techniques: Creative people have mastered specific techniques that allow them to express their unique spirit and creative process. Take the time to demonstrate the basic use of each artistic tool – i.e. pencil, scissors, paintbrush, clay, glue, etc. – before inviting the child to use them independently.   Once the techniques have been demonstrated, the child may explore other ways to use them, or use them in combination.

Respect the Creative Process at Work. As anyone who has ever observed the activities of very young children can attest, they are process-driven creatures.  It’s not at all unusual for a child to spend 30 minutes creating a painting, only to leave the finished product behind, forgotten. This is the natural course of things for the young child, who moves with ease from one activity to the next, immersed in the process of exploring and becoming. It can be difficult for an adult to imagine a child being propelled solely by their own curiosity and inner guidance, and yet when left to their own devices, they are.

Invite Open Dialogue. Children, like adults, don’t always want to talk about their process… and that’s ok.  Trust that your child’s creative explorations may take them to places you have not been. Get curious and, when they do share about their experience, do your best to listen without judgment. Judgment, whether positive or negative, stifles creativity.

Offer Observations and Avoid Praise. The well-meaning adult who swoops in to praise  a child who has produced a product is establishing a pattern of unhealthy dependence on adult approval.  Such a pattern is easily established and difficult to break. Some experts suggest that children who receive regular praise from adults are less confident, less independent, initiate fewer activities on their own, and take fewer (creative, social and intelletual) risks.

However, well placed and objective comments about the child’s process can have the opposite effect, supporting the development of healthy self-esteem. The difference is that praise is totally subjective and places a judgment on the child, while objective comments make meaningful observations of the child’s process,  inspire greater introspection and allow the child to gain confidence in his true abilities. Here is an example of the difference between subjective praise and objective comments:

  • Subjective Praise: “Wow! You are a great artist!”
  • Objective comment: “ I notice you used a lot of blue.”
  • Objective comment: “I see a pattern of lines and circles.”
  • Objective comment: “You worked for a long time on this painting!”

Get Friendly with Error and Avoid Judgment.

Judgment stifles creativity. Humans learn and progress through exploration, experimentation, and by making mistakes and trying again. From this perspective, errors are good indicators of positive progress! Mistake is not a dirty word, despite what we may have learned in school, and Right and Wrong are subjective terms. That one person (even if that person is a parent or teacher) does something in a certain way should not preclude another person from trying it another way.

Explore Your Own Creative Process. Allow your child to see you experimenting, exploring, and expressing your own creative spark.  Paint, draw, and build crazy sculptures and colorful collages.  Have fun!

A favorite collaborative activity: Commemorative Collage

  • Gather family members around an open workspace at a table or on the floor
  • Invite every family member to cut or tear out photos (from magazines or catalogs) which depict what they like about life, family, etc.  Remember… there are no right or wrong answers or images!
  • Once everyone has selected a few images, take turns affixing (glue or glue stick) the images to a small or large poster board.
  • Words can be added as well; older family members can write for those who don’t know how.  The words can be absolutely anything anybody wants to say about family.  It only has to make sense to the person offering it.
  • Choose a common area in which to post the collage, where every member of the family can see and enjoy it.  Someone might even choose to add another image later on.
  • This same activity can be done with family photos or memorabilia to commemorate a birthday or holiday, or the passing of a favorite pet.
  • Suggestion: Ring in the New Year with a family collage to commemorate 2009!

Enjoy!

Until next time,

Delila

Celebrating with Children

Today is Halloween, which means we are still in the midst of my favorite season… autumn. However,  when I walked into my local Fred Meyer the other day I  was stunned to discover racks of holiday decorations and tinsel and lights. At my house we’re still harvesting tomatoes and raking leaves. December celebrations are distant on the horizon. But not for the mega-corporations intent on capturing our hearts and our dollars.

Always a season ahead, advertisers welcome the approach of the winter holidays with a vigorous attempt to capitalize on our desire to create memorable family rituals. While a central premise of marketing is that buying things will make us happy (not!),  a study of materialistic values among children determined that kids who have the most in a material sense tend to be the least generous, the least content, and less confident  (From Natural Life Magazine, March/April 2008). This revelation comes as no surprise to any parent who has witnessed the tearful tantrums of a child caught up in the vicious cycle of  begging for “things” – candy, toys or the immediate object of their desire – only to discover that the joy at having acquired the thing is fleeting and empty. 

We can turn off the tube  (good first step) but we can’t control the commercialism which presses in through magazines and retail stores – and which bombards our children with images that depict values that may differ from those we want to impart.  However, as parents we can offset the manipulative power of advertising by providing our children an abundance of real, meaningful moments in which to anchor their developing values and beliefs. These kinds of moments – those spent with family and friends, sharing meaningful rituals – weave the true emotional fabric of life.

In our Montessori classrooms we find many events and occasions worthy of celebration, including the loss of a tooth; the changing of the seasons; the sprouting of a seed; the birth of a child; and the historical milestones of many cultures. We honor each of these with equal reverence and without regard for commercial hype which may surround its arrival.  We share  stories, music, and artistic expressions of many cultures and celebrations as dictated by the natural interest of the children, the cycles of the seasons, and the  values of the school community.

We connect as often as possible with nature, a shared experience through which we can explore lessons in history and culture and the ongoing story of our humanity. For the winter holidays we explore the seasonal changes in the earth as well as various cultural expressions of the time, including but never limited to celebrations of Christmas, Hanukkah, Los Posadas, Kwanzaa, Diwali, and the Winter Solstice.  Songs, stories, and pictures on our walls may reflect aspects of these cultural celebrations, all of which inspire further explorations and conversations. Some children may have personal stories, music, or a special project to share and we welcome these.

Because young children are easily overwhelmed by too much activity, we keep our celebrations simple, short and meaningful; and we maintain the regular routines and rituals to which the children are so deeply connected.

Here are a few simple suggestions to inspire meaningful moments and family traditions:

Take a brisk walk outdoors to collect objects from nature – pinecones, autumn’s last leaves, rocks and twigs – and collaborate to make a festive winter table decoration.

 

Keep a family Gratitude Journal: each day at the same time – after dinner or before bed works well – every member of the family can share one thing for which they are thankful, and another member can record them. If you have children who are old enough to write, they will delight in being the one to record these daily “gratitudes.”

 

Volunteer: discuss ways in which your family might be of service to others – preparing and delivering a meal to an elderly person; volunteering at a soup kitchen; or creating a gift box for a child in need are wonderful ideas –  and make it a yearly tradition for your family to participate in some such volunteer activity.

 

Host a cookie swap among friends and neighbors: make the baking a collaborative experience with your children, as well as the sharing of what you have made. The message: there is as much joy in giving as receiving.

Feed the birds: find a recipe for making your own bird food or bird feeder (large pinecones smeared with nut butter and rolled in birdseed make a tasty treat for birds) and hang them in a place where you can observe what happens.

Happy Haunting :)

Delila

Thoughts on Waldorf Education

I met my friend Rosa Vela Sachs in 1988 while living in Dallas, Texas, where I spent my first year as a Montessori guide. Rosa taught Spanish in the elementary program and her youngest son, Zachary, was in my primary class. Sitting in Rosa’s cozy kitchen or on the front porch as her children played nearby, I learned something about spontaneity and joyful parenting. Rosa and her husband, Byron, once spent two years living on a sailboat where they homeschooled their children while traveling through the east coast of the US and the Bahamas. I was the lucky recipient of Rosa’s brightly illustrated letters chronicling those adventures – a travel log, of sorts – which underscored for me the importance of sharing life with our children, rather than just leading them through it. I am once again learning from Rosa, who has been a part of the Waldorf community – teaching Spanish at the Austin Waldorf School – for the past 14 years.  Choosing an educational setting for our children is no small decision, and thankfully we have some very good options.  I asked Rosa to share with me her perspective on what is special about Waldorf education, and I am delighted to share her response here:

Thoughts on Waldorf Education by Rosa Vela Sachs

waldorfIt is commonplace to observe that globalization is shrinking the world at an unprecedented rate. Technological advances accelerate the exchange of goods and ideas, bringing us all closer together — while paradoxically, these same forces accentuate our differences and reanimate long-dead conflicts. As a new order emerges from the shattered certainties of the old, the fate of our planet and that of every living creature on it have never seemed so precariously balanced. Opposing the centrifugal force of historical experience, education stands as our best and most viable resource to meet the challenge of the future.

As a Waldorf educator, I believe that this challenge of the future is being met — every day. From the development of kindergarteners’ imaginations through the story telling, to the spiritual approach taken in humanities and sciences in the high school, Waldorf curriculum is focused on one overarching goal: preparing the next generation for the world that will be their legacy. Toward that end, these time-tested methods seek to draw out of each student his or her full latent potential.

But does it work?

A recent edition of the publication, Survey of Waldorf Graduates ~ Phase Three from The Research Institute for Waldorf Education, reported that 94% of all Waldorf graduates attend college and 88% graduate from college.  More importantly, research indicated that 82% of these graduates value ethical principals and helping others in their chosen careers, and 91% practice and value life-long learning.

Success, from the Waldorf perspective, means something more than simply high academic performance, for true success in the world requires more than a slavish ambition to meet goals imposed from without. True success, as we see it, involves an inner activity in the individual, action that stems from an inner compass, and guides the human being to participate in the world in whatever way s/he can.  Our educational thrust is directed at helping our students develop individual capacities that will make this possible.

Clearly then, success is more than rote plodding down a path blazed by others. Take the experience of Canyon Darcy, from Austin, Texas. After graduating from the Austin Waldorf School in 2007, Canyon considered his options and chose the road less traveled — a road that led to Tajikistan in central Asia. He credits his Waldorf education for his openness to new experiences, and his willingness to “step out of his comfort zone”. He believes that because his Waldorf education so thoroughly addressed his imagination in his formative years, as a young adult he was able to deal with the inevitable shock of immersion in a culture alien in many respects to his own. Canyon is only one example in a sea of unique and globally-minded Waldorf students, former students, and graduates throughout the world.

Waldorf curriculum meets the development of the human being at certain stages from kindergarten through high school. It also meets the needs of the world community in the form of committed, well-educated individuals who can think and problem solve, who can feel, appreciate, and connect with other people and who can take constructive action and make things happen.  That is the goal of Waldorf education.  Thank goodness!

Are Schools Killing Creativity?

Wize Mamas,

I just viewed a video on TED which really captured my imagination and got me thinking –  and I think you’ll see why (link below).

Sir Ken Robinson, Ph.D., challenges the way our public school systems educate our children and champions educational philosophies – such as Montessori and Waldorf – which cultivate creativity and allow children to discover their own true interests and passions.

“We have to rethink the fundamental principles on which we are educating our children..  to see our children for the hope that they are… to educate their whole being so they can face the future… and make something of it” ~Sir Ken Robinson

Click to hear Dr. Robinson’s throught-provoking talk on TED.

What can schools do to encourage creativity and creative thinking in children? Post your comments by clicking on title of this post (at the top) and then filling in the comment box (at the bottom).

Until next time,

Delila