Today is Halloween, which means we are still in the midst of my favorite season… autumn. However,  when I walked into my local Fred Meyer the other day I  was stunned to discover racks of holiday decorations and tinsel and lights. At my house we’re still harvesting tomatoes and raking leaves. December celebrations are distant on the horizon. But not for the mega-corporations intent on capturing our hearts and our dollars.

Always a season ahead, advertisers welcome the approach of the winter holidays with a vigorous attempt to capitalize on our desire to create memorable family rituals. While a central premise of marketing is that buying things will make us happy (not!),  a study of materialistic values among children determined that kids who have the most in a material sense tend to be the least generous, the least content, and less confident  (From Natural Life Magazine, March/April 2008). This revelation comes as no surprise to any parent who has witnessed the tearful tantrums of a child caught up in the vicious cycle of  begging for “things” – candy, toys or the immediate object of their desire – only to discover that the joy at having acquired the thing is fleeting and empty. 

We can turn off the tube  (good first step) but we can’t control the commercialism which presses in through magazines and retail stores – and which bombards our children with images that depict values that may differ from those we want to impart.  However, as parents we can offset the manipulative power of advertising by providing our children an abundance of real, meaningful moments in which to anchor their developing values and beliefs. These kinds of moments – those spent with family and friends, sharing meaningful rituals – weave the true emotional fabric of life.

In our Montessori classrooms we find many events and occasions worthy of celebration, including the loss of a tooth; the changing of the seasons; the sprouting of a seed; the birth of a child; and the historical milestones of many cultures. We honor each of these with equal reverence and without regard for commercial hype which may surround its arrival.  We share  stories, music, and artistic expressions of many cultures and celebrations as dictated by the natural interest of the children, the cycles of the seasons, and the  values of the school community.

We connect as often as possible with nature, a shared experience through which we can explore lessons in history and culture and the ongoing story of our humanity. For the winter holidays we explore the seasonal changes in the earth as well as various cultural expressions of the time, including but never limited to celebrations of Christmas, Hanukkah, Los Posadas, Kwanzaa, Diwali, and the Winter Solstice.  Songs, stories, and pictures on our walls may reflect aspects of these cultural celebrations, all of which inspire further explorations and conversations. Some children may have personal stories, music, or a special project to share and we welcome these.

Because young children are easily overwhelmed by too much activity, we keep our celebrations simple, short and meaningful; and we maintain the regular routines and rituals to which the children are so deeply connected.

Here are a few simple suggestions to inspire meaningful moments and family traditions:

Take a brisk walk outdoors to collect objects from nature – pinecones, autumn’s last leaves, rocks and twigs – and collaborate to make a festive winter table decoration.

Keep a family Gratitude Journal: each day at the same time – after dinner or before bed works well – every member of the family can share one thing for which they are thankful, and another member can record them. If you have children who are old enough to write, they will delight in being the one to record these daily “gratitudes.”

Volunteer: discuss ways in which your family might be of service to others – preparing and delivering a meal to an elderly person; volunteering at a soup kitchen; or creating a gift box for a child in need are wonderful ideas –  and make it a yearly tradition for your family to participate in some such volunteer activity.

Host a cookie swap among friends and neighbors: make the baking a collaborative experience with your children, as well as the sharing of what you have made. The message: there is as much joy in giving as receiving.

Feed the birds: find a recipe for making your own bird food or bird feeder (large pinecones smeared with nut butter and rolled in birdseed make a tasty treat for birds) and hang them in a place where you can observe what happens.

Happy Haunting

Delila