Category Archives: Self-Care for Busy Parents

Let’s face it… if mama’s not happy, nobody’s happy!

As busy mamas and papas, taking care of our own needs often takes the back burner to taking care of our families.

In this section we’ll explore simple strategies and practical tips for getting the self-care you need to feel your best, including: Cleansing, Meditation, Yoga, Skin Brushing, Hydration, and other tips for nurturing your physical, emotional and spiritual self. Enjoy!

Renewal can come in the form of a physical or dietary cleanse, a cleansing meditation or new spiritual practice, or perhaps the introduction of a specific family ritual to rejuvenate the spirit of your family.

The ways and practices of recharging, rejuvenating and renewing us as mothers and caregivers is the subject of this section.

Exploring the inner world

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This blog has been a place I’ve explored parenthood, womanhood and life.

I’ve always considered motherhood to be both my greatest contribution and my greatest challenge as a woman. As my son set off to make his way in the world as a college freshman last fall, it opened the way for grieving the loss of a part of my own identity, that which derives its worth from the care of others.

Months later, I still find myself looking and listening for the sounds he used to make, hearing only the strange emptiness that fills the spaces he once occupied.

As Elliott has grown in independence, needing me less and less, my own need for caring has shifted back to tending the inner garden from which I draw my strength and clarity as a woman.  This is a time of transition, a time of exploring what comes next, and of evaluating the needs which are primary at this time in my life.

As a single woman on a journey toward awareness, fumbling through life with the support of other strong women, I find myself deep in inquiry about the questions that surround romantic love, intimacy, and creativity.

The blog now becomes a place to test new ways of using my voice, new expressions of what is true for me in this moment, and new opportunities to expand the conversation.

Delila

The Beat of Her Own Drum

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At one time it was unthinkable for a woman to raise her child apart from the rituals and traditions of her community. Much has changed, but today’s woman still carries within her a lineage of wisdom that innately prepares her for childbirth and parenting. This knowledge echoes the voices of ancient grandmothers who teach valuable lessons about building community, raising children, and caring for oneself amidst the bustle of modern living.

Portland-based Shamanic practitioner Rebecca Singer teaches women to connect with this deep inner knowledge, and to march to the beat of their own drum while growing families, careers, and communities. With minimal support from her family, Rebecca raised her son as a single parent while living internationally, working with at-risk youth and supporting the needs of those on the threshold of change.

The skills Rebecca teaches women about childbirth and parenting are profound. She says, “Nothing connects a woman more to her power than birthing a baby. It’s a breaking open of a woman into her own wisdom. Too often, the focus during pregnancy is on ‘what if something goes wrong’ rather than on a woman’s instinctive ability to give birth. Today many women choose C-sections so their bodies won’t have to go through a natural birth. I loved being in labor. There was this deep sense that I knew what I was doing.”

Connection with the Earth can seem like an idealist state, but Rebecca demonstrates how it must be a priority in our fast-paced society. “When our bare feet hit the ground, our breathing and heart rate slows down, our eyes can focus, and our expectations and demands get a chance to fall by the wayside. Children desperately need this time away from technology to connect with the natural rhythm of nature, and so do we as mothers. It drops us into our bellies and allows us to relax and remember who we are.”

Which leads to a common question: How can a mother be fully present for her children without abandoning her own needs? Rebecca points out, “It’s so important to connect and build friendships with other healthy women who love being women. Find a group of mothers who can laugh and cry about the absurdities of parenthood. Seek out those who don’t compete or criticize. And then trust yourself completely. No one knows how to raise your child better than you.”

Every good mother wants her children to grow up happy, to be good to others and to live their own passion. This calls for parenting that is fierce, unconditionally loving, and that provides children with clear and consistent limits. “Mothers must be ready to defend their children and also be able to listen to constructive feedback about their children. Ultimately, it’s up to us as mothers to negotiate with anyone or anything that dims our child’s spirit. Good parenting is about protecting children, teaching them about their own inner knowing and strength, and then letting them go.”

As kids hit the teenage years, parents must shift as well. Rebecca helps moms in this stage learn how to check their reactivity to common situations. She believes, “Not every teenager is going to be difficult. It’s a psychological set-up in our culture to expect teens to be a challenge. Friendships can feel fake and unsatisfying at this age and kids can feel isolated, and it’s hard on their spirit. Home must be a place where they can be fully themselves. Establishing safety in your home means making yourself available to really listen and communicate without judging.

Mothering a teen means making yourself available to communicate, understanding and accepting their need to become independent from you, and allowing them to show you what kind of support is needed. Most of all, teens need to see their mothers modeling acceptance, confidence and comfort in their own skin.”

Eloquently, Rebecca reminds women, “Mothering is a season of life in which we are called to be entirely present and dedicated to the wellbeing of another person. Happy childhoods are not created by doing more, achieving more, or having more. It’s about being fully available to your child. Learn how to go inside, listen to your gut, and listen to what your child is telling you he or she needs. And if you don’t know how to do it, get some help. Forget the people who want to tell you what to do; choose the people who can teach you how to trust your instincts and love yourself.”

As a Shamanic healer who works on three continents, Rebecca is the embodiment of a fearless warrior. But when she speaks about her adult son, Liam, there’s a softness that illuminates her mother’s heart: “I have to say of all my experiences in life, raising my son was the best … the absolute best.”

~Delila

This article appeared in Portland Family Magazine in May 2012. -See more at: http://www.portlandfamily.com/posts/the-beat-of-her-own-drum/

Wize Woman of the Month: Sherry Jordan

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Sherry B Jordan

“Wize Woman of the Month” showcases extraordinary women among us. Today, we feature Sherry Jordan , Executive Business Coach and Change Management Consultant.

Sherry’s career path reflects steady dedication and momentum, despite personal and professional adversity. Her ability to help others find what’s important and get back on track attracts a steady stream of executives to Sherry’s private and group programs. She is the owner of Northwest Coaching Group and the author of the popular blog, Entrepreneur Executive.

Here’s a look at what makes Sherry Jordan tick:

What makes you feel most alive? Nothing is as exciting to me as being presented with a new challenge and having to “find my way” through it. I love the learning process, the sense of power as I realize my ability to master a new skill or concept, and the excitement of knowing new discoveries await me through each stage of life. Real life examples for me include striving to achieve early admission to college in my teens; moving to a new city and learning to be on my own in my twenties; reaching corporate executive status while at the same time battling cancer in my thirties; and going back to college to discover a new career path in my forties. Now in my fifth decade of life, the grand adventure continues. I am grateful to be here and eager to discover what lies ahead…

My mom always told me… the only thing you can control is your attitude. Deceased for 26 years, her indomitable spirit lives on for me in this phrase which has been a common mantra in my life. I can’t think of a better gift a parent can give a child, than the notion that one can survive anything… with the right attitude. Whether mustering the strength to declare “I can do it” or the courage to surrender and allow the circumstances to unfold, my mother’s voice echoes in my mind and heart. I still miss her every day.

This always takes priority in my life: My relationships. I run a successful business, work long hours and manage a heavy client load, yet my primary relationships with my husband, family and friends take utmost priority in my life. I believe we only have one chance to do this right, and at the end of the day we will all be remembered more for the quality of our relationships than for what we accomplished professionally. I am presently supporting my 86 year old father following a series of health setbacks over the past several months. The circumstances have required me to take many weeks away from my business and, despite the physical and emotional toll of thousands of miles of travel; I consider it an honor and privilege to share this life experience with him.

Who or what inspires you? I am inspired by people who overcome adversity against overwhelming odds; by those who are driven by faith in that which they cannot see; by those who continue to see the best in others and the world, despite personal heartbreak and disappointment; by those who dig deep to discover their own beauty and potential, even when no one else seems to; and, by those who value the simple things in life more than the acquisition of money and power. I am inspired by the hope of newborn babies, by the human potential for compassion, and by the awareness that beauty and inspiration can be found almost anywhere… when we have the eyes (and the attitude) to see.

What’s the one thing you’ve accepted about yourself with age? I’ve accepted that I don’t need to be an expert at everything. I’ve learned to delegate tasks for which I don’t have the time, interest or skill sets… to the people who do. I’ve learned that when I can focus on my strengths, the weaknesses suddenly become less important.

Who are you a mom to? I tend to be a mother to almost anyone who wants or needs one! In all seriousness, I perceive it as a great honor to take on the role of nurturer. I enjoy this kind of relationship with my two sons and my nephew, as well as many young fellow cancer survivors. The ability to provide support for friends, family and clients gives me enormous joy.

What advice would you give to other Wize Women? Don’t be concerned about what others think of you, but be very concerned about what you think of yourself. Spend time every day, working to improve your relationship with YOU.

Thanks to Sherry for sharing herself with us.
Until next time,
Delila

Liberating the mothers of humanity

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“Patience is also a form of action”  ~ Auguste Rodin

It’s tricky being a woman.  We tend to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders and believe we’re responsible for everything around us.

Our children make bad decisions and we question our parenting skills.

A business deal falls through and we wonder how we could have saved it.

A partner is acting strange and we assume it’s somehow our fault.

As women and mothers, we have the power to influence the emotional wellness of those around us, especially our loved ones. Yet, we often take on this responsibility at our own expense.

I took  an unexpected and unwelcome hiatus from this blog due to a series of events and circumstances which have shaken my emotional foundation and left me temporarily at a loss for words.  Over the last several months two beloved family members have passed away and, as if that isn’t enough to manage,  I’ve been named in an ugly, costly and time-consuming lawsuit. As a result, any sense of “normalcy” seems to be lost for the moment.

Despite the physical, emotional and financial trauma surrounding my present circumstances, there are still bills to pay,  deadlines to meet, meals to prepare, and a never-ending pile of laundry calling my name.  And there is a hard truth to face: It’s time to truly accept that life sometimes brings circumstances beyond my control.

I realize it’s time to stop trying to control my circumstances, and return to the care of the ONE THING over which I have some control… myself.

To me, caring for myself means the occasional, unapologetic soak in the tub with a gin and tonic and a trashy gossip magazine.  It means sleeping in ‘til noon from time to time, adding a line item for massage to my monthly budget, and giving myself  permission to walk away from the computer in favor of back-to-back episodes of Glee with my son.   As a mother, business owner, and the sole bread-winner in my family, these are guilty pleasures I rarely allow myself and I’m realizing… maybe it’s time I should!

What guilty pleasure can you allow yourself today?  Choose a good one and please, share it in the comment section below for other Wize Mamas to see.

Life can come at us pretty fast and, as women, we feel it deeply when things aren’t going as planned.  Here’s to liberating ourselves from the need to be the mothers of humanity. And here’s to nurturing ourselves with what we need to be and feel our best.

It’s good to be back.

Much love until next time,

Delila

Holiday Hype got you down?

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While the central premise of marketing revolves around the idea that buying things will make us “happy”,  a study of materialistic values among children determined that kids who have the most in a material sense tend to be the least generous, the least content, and the less confident (From Natural Life Magazine, March/April 2008). This revelation comes as no surprise to any parent who has witnessed the tearful tantrums of a child caught up in the vicious cycle of  begging for “things” – candy, toys or the immediate object of their desire – only to discover that the joy at having acquired the thing is fleeting and empty.

Yet, this is what we face as consumers… holiday hype and commercial marketing often seems to overshadow the real meaning of the season.

What if commercial holidays were no more worthy of celebration than the loss of a tooth; the changing of the seasons; the sprouting of a seed; the birth of a child; or the historical milestones of any culture?  And what if we honored each of these milestones with equal reverence and without regard for commercial hype?

I offer these few simple suggestions for slowing down and staying connected to the things that really matter this holiday season:

Walk outdoors and collect objects from nature – pinecones, autumns last leaves, rocks and twigs can make a festive winter table decoration.

Keep a Gratitude Journal: Every member of the family can share one thing for which they are thankful. This becomes a lovely keepsake treasure of shared moments.

Volunteer: There is perhaps no better way to remain mindful of the real meaning of “giving” than to serve those less fortunate.

Feed the birds: Large pinecones smeared with nut butter and rolled in birdseed make a tasty treat for birds…hang them in a place where you can observe what happens

I wish you a holiday season filled with Joy, Peace, Gratitude & Love.

Until next time,

Delila

Wize Woman of the Month: Rebecca Singer

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MamaWize is about connecting women by sharing wisdom and building community.  This monthly Wize Woman of the Month column spotlights strong women juggling many responsibilities and making a positive difference in the world. I recently had the extraordinary experience of a healing session with Rebecca Singer, this month’s Wize Woman.  My time with Rebecca was nothing sort of transformational, and I am honored to share her voice and wisdom with you now.

Rebecca Singer is a Shamanic Healer and Spiritual Teacher who lives in Portland, when she’s not in Mongolia. With roots deep in ancestral healing traditions, she works with people to help them be who they came to be and want to be. For 25 years, she has dedicated herself to connecting with the earth and sky and bringing those spirits forward to heal and guide others.  She lives with her partner, Will and her two Costa Rican dogs, Salsa and Osa. Learn more about Rebecca and her work at www.shamanicenergy.com or email her at becca.sing@gmail.com

What makes you feel most alive? I love being surrounded by the wildness of nature… whether on a horse running across the Mongolian grassland, or standing at the top of Mt Chirripo in Costa Rica. And I have to say, there’s nothing quite like being on a camel….so exquisite! I also feel totally alive as I stand in pure light as a healer, drumming and calling out to the Spirits in song on another’s behalf.

My mom always told me… to be afraid.  She didn’t say it in so many words, but certainly did with her actions.  Fortunately, because my spirit was BIG and adventurous, I didn’t let this message slow me down!  I learned that I really didn’t need to be afraid, but I really did need safety and protection.  Oh, and mom often also told me  to “tone it down.” Sorry mom, it just wasn’t meant to be!  I love you.

This always takes priority in my life: To me, it’s all about being true to my heart, and following my passion. I have stepped off many a metaphorical cliff, with no landing in sight, yet somehow always landed on my feet.  My path has led to many different countries and cultures, through many relationships and single-motherhood, and from actress to teacher to non-profit volunteer. I have learned to go where I am called to continue my healing work.  The next phase of my life includes a commitment to assisting the Mongolian Reindeer people… and so it goes.

Who or what inspires you? My partner, Will, inspires me with his capacity for kindness, as does my son, Liam, with his music.  I am likewise inspired by the Dalai Llama; Rigoberto Menchu; (my first teacher) Patricia Spradling; (my three legged dog) Salsa,… because of her loving eyes and eternal happiness; Siberian Tigers; Butterflies; Charlie Chaplin; the performers of Circue du Soleil; Jane Goodall; and the Reindeer people of Mongolia.  Oh, and all of nature; fierce and gentle conviction, and big laughter.

What’s one thing you’ve accepted about yourself with age? As part of a broader acceptance that at age 61 I won’t be able to do absolutely everything I would love to do in this lifetime, I realize I can’t uproot myself continually anymore.  I need a rhythm in my life, which for me means spending some of the year here in Portland and some abroad.  Another bit of acceptance:  my outside appearance sometimes appears older than I feel on the inside… but other days they are congruent…and that’s ok!

Who are you a mom to? Biologically and in my heart of hearts I am mom to my amazing son, Liam Singer, a gifted musician (check out his latest CD, “Dislocatia” )  I have also been a mom to various animals; students in schools, prisons and juvenile justice systems; and people in the process of dying.  I believe I bring a mother’s loving, healing energy to every client… and share it from the bottom of my heart.  I once climbed 2 kilometers down a rainforest mountain – over tretcherous terrain the Red Cross was afraid to navigate – to help a wounded man (I didn’t know) after a car accident in Costa Rica.  Is that being a mom?

What advice would you give other Wize Women? It’s our time. Speak out. Step up. Wake up. The world is depending on our wisdom to come forth in writing, speaking, song, healing, laughter, art, action. Be loud. Be bold. Be gentle, Be compassionate. Treat others with respect, and demand to be treated respectfully. Come on. Get healed. Get whole. Your healthy feminine energy is being called to transform the planet. IT’S OUR TIME!

Visit www.shamanicenergy.com to learn more about Rebecca and her work.

If you know of a Wize Woman you would like to see featured on MamaWize, be sure to contact me!

Until next time,

Delila

Wize Woman of the Month: Erin Donley

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MamaWize is about connecting women by sharing wisdom and building community.  Our newest feature, Wize Woman of the Month, will spotlight strong women  juggling many responsibilities and leading extraordinary lives. I am pleased to feature Erin Donley as the first Wize Woman of the Month.

Erin Donley is an inspired writer, speaker, communications and marketing consultant, and the owner of Marketing Your Truth. She’s known as the “eyes and ears” of New Renaissance Bookshop, where she’s a manager and the author of their popular email newsletter about modern-day spirituality. Erin has a tremendous ability to connect strong people, find words for the intangible, and lead as an example to those who want to communicate with personality, originality, and power. The following interview will give you a glimpse of what makes Erin tick; to learn more visit MarketingYourTruth.com.

What makes you feel most alive? Being able to talk about things most people don’t want to talk about or don’t have the language (or guts) to express… topics like death, shame, vulnerability, and especially, how to communicate more effectively. I like giving a voice to the unseen, unspoken, and the “unheard of” things in life.

My mom always told me… It’s important to have your own money. She’d probably love for me to marry a rich man, but she insisted that I learn how to earn my own income and support myself.

This always takes priority in my life: Going for a jog in my neighborhood, taking warm salt baths, and spending time alone when I need it.

Who inspires you? People who are unapologetic about who they are, open about their issues and willing to show up, laugh, and move through whatever is going on in their life with as much grace as possible.

What’s the one thing you’ve accepted about yourself with age? I have a pretty strong need to be different. Sometimes my drive to do things in a non-traditional and extraordinary fashion makes it hard for me to live up to my own standards. I’m getting softer with myself and others… finally.

Who are you a mom to? I’m a mom to a beautiful brown dog named Banjo. I waiver in the desire to have kids and find it to be a hard decision. For now, I’m focused on creating a lifestyle that could support a child. So that if I chose to have kids, it would be safe for me to try.

What advice would you give to other Wize Women? Many of us are too emotionally invested in our outcomes to see where and how we need to grow. Find a mentor who can help you to see yourself, your business, or your style of communication from an objective point of view. Gift yourself with good help and pay for it gladly.

Visit www.MarketingYourTruth.com to learn more about Erin and her work.

If you know of a Wize Woman you would like to see featured on MamaWize, contact me.

Until next time,

Delila

Renewing the Spirit: Nurturing the Nurturer

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I’ve been writing this blog for almost a year and in that time I’ve been pleasantly surprised to discover that this online community attracts women of all kinds and in all stages of life… even those who are not mothers.

This confirms a trend I’ve been noticing for awhile: In this day and age, women are not subscribing to traditional roles. Instead, we are insisting that our lives be a reflection of who we truly are and not simply who we feel we should be. Motherhood, while often an important facet of our female experience, is only one aspect of our womanhood.

Yet, the shared quality of nurturing – mothering – seems to be a natural inclination for most women. The problem is, in our efforts to nurture and care for others – families, friends, co-workers, etc. – we often neglect our own needs. It’s a bit of a conundrum. How can we juggle all the responsibilities of our personal and professional lives without neglecting our own personal needs?

No matter where we find ourselves in life, at times we crave the kind of caretaking we offer others, the kind we may ourselves have experienced as children. As women, I believe it’s up to us to support each other in getting these personal needs met, in taking the time to nurture ourselves, and in an ongoing commitment to placing our own needs at the top of the priority list… at least some of the time.

This blog is dedicated to all the women who give, nurture, and care. It is intended to acknowledge and celebrate the many facets of our womanhood; and to inspire greater attention to our own needs and desires.

Many years ago I established a self care ritual I continue to practice almost every day, no matter what else is going on in my life. Just before bed I turn off phones, lock the bathroom door, light a candle and run a hot Epsom salt bath infused with essential oils. I allow myself to soak until my body is relaxed and my mind is clear. Whether I can carve out 5 minutes or 30 minutes, this simple ritual always leaves me feeling nurtured and renewed.

I asked several dynamic women friends – each of whom juggle busy personal and professional schedules with incredible guts and grace – how they keep it all together.  Here are their self care secrets:

Jane Crawford, Owner and LMT (www.lavenderstonemassage.com) “Dry body brushing is an important part of my morning self-care routine. The hour I spend focused on my body and my healing allows me to be that much more present to the needs of my family and my clients.”

Kellie Jean Lewis, Reiki Master & Massage Therapist (www.kelliejeanreiki.com) “Each morning I write down 10 things for which I’m grateful as well as 10 things I want to attract to my life. I write them as if they are already happening. I then take a moment to get very clear about my intentions for that day, and I write those down as well. I read all of what I’ve just written, aloud. In this way, I start each day grounded in gratitude and positive intention.”

Kristie Connor, High-tech Marketing Specialist & Blogger (www.girlstalkingtech.com) “I keep it simple: every day I try to make time for one or two small but significant activities that feel relaxing and rejuvenating to my spirit.  It might be an extra 5 minutes of snuggle time with my son, a deep breathing exercise, a few jumps on the trampoline, a short walk, or a conversation with a friend. When I do this, I feel my stress melt away.”

Erin Donley, Marketing Consultant and Business Coach (www.marketingyourtruth.com) “ I often enlist advice and nurturing from a 3rd party perspective. For example, I work regularly with a business/life coach, and I occasionally seek counsel from one of the many astounding intuitive healers in Portland. This helps me see my situation from a new angle and, often times, clarity and a deeper understanding of myself and my priorities is all I need to regain balance, security, and confidence.

Diane Bays, Owner (www.healthyspacesonline.com) “I’ve always carved out time to nurture my spiritual life through women’s retreats and getaways, which is one way I have modeled for my children the importance of self-care. When I acknowledge my own needs as equally important, I hope I am inspiring them to seek balance in their own lives.”

Joanna Flores, Owner and L.Ac., M.Ac.O.M., ABT (www.groundspring.net) “After I put the kids to bed, I sit for 5 minutes and replay the events of the day to allow any unfinished business to complete and make its way out of my space.  My reward for doing this is I sleep wonderfully and I wake rested.  If I don’t, then I find myself fidgeting and restless.”

Christine Thum Schlesser, Owner and VP of Operations (www.advantig.net) “I treat myself to a weekly session with a fabulous acupuncturist who blends several traditional Asian techniques to help me maintain a healthy life balance.”

Please take the time to post a comment and share your own favorite strategies for personal renewal.  If you don’t have one, I hope you’re feeling inspired to carve out regular time for self care! You totally deserve it.

Until next time,

Delila

When sleep does not come easily…

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A few more thoughts on sleep…

As a general rule of thumb, well-rested children awake on their own and  in good spirits. If your child doesn’t get out of bed in the morning without a wake-up call, or awakes in an unpleasant mood,  it’s a likely sign s/he is not getting adequate rest.

Television, video games, computers, and other entertainment devices can and usually do interfere with sleep patterns.  I recommend limiting your child’s exposure to these devices,  and  avoiding them altogether during the several hours before bedtime.

Sometimes sleep eludes even the most exhausted children. When the regular evening ritual – warm bath, short story and snuggles – doesn’t cut the mustard, I have a few tried and true strategies for helping a little one settle down. These are especially useful on those evenings when excitement and anticipation can keep us awake like, for instance, the night before the first day of  school:

Massage: light, gentle massage of the tummy or feet can be very relaxing and seems to work most effectively right after a warm bath.

Warm tea or milk: for many years my son’s bedtime ritual included a lukewarm cup of chamomile tea. He would sip his tea while I read aloud.  I highly recommend this lovely ritual even if your child doesn’t have difficulty settling down. You’ll be lucky to finish the story before your little one is snoozing…

Quietude: I am a big fan of homeopathy and I find Quietude to be an effective, safe, non habit forming remedy for sleeplessness. The remedy comes in a sweet-tasting little tablet that easily dissolves in the mouth. Most larger health food stores carry Boiron homeopathic remedies. Read more about it at http://www.boironusa.com/products/name.html

It’s easy for everyone to fall out of sync with healthy sleep patterns during the summer months, and it may take a week or two of consistent bedtime rituals to get things back into a steady routine. Healthy sleep habits develop through caring consistency.

What sleepy-time strategy works well for your children? Post a comment to join the conversation!

Given the right kind of  support even the youngest child can learn to manage many aspects of life independently. My next post will focus on the topic of dressing for independence. Stay tuned!

Sweet Dreams,

Delila

The Importance of Sleep

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Hey Wize Mamas,

Have the first-day-of-school jitters hit your household yet?

As summer draws to a close, eager children and anxious parents anticipate the first day of school.  Whether your child is starting preschool or heading off to kindergarten, the transition represents an important milestone for the child and the family.

Even with a few solid years teaching experience under my belt, I was not emotionally prepared for my son’s first day at Montessori preschool. I adored the classroom environment and the teacher I had carefully chosen for him; his classroom felt like a home away from home.  Still, when the day came to leave my three year-old at the threshold of his first real experience away from me, I was devastated. I cried that morning and for many mornings after, grieving what I understood to be the first of many steps which would inevitably lead him further out into the world.

Parenthood is both joy and heartache, sometimes all at once.  It seems like just yesterday we passed that first momentous milestone and now another quickly approaches; my son is heading off to high school in a few weeks. As I was pouring over my notes in preparation for fall Parent Orientation, I realized the timeliest tips are useful at any age.

Over the next few days I’ll be sharing what I feel are the most important things a parent can do to ease the transition to (or back to) school:

Preparing for a School:  The Importance of Sleep

While the chronic effects of exhaustion are something to which many busy adults have become accustomed – hey, isn’t it about time for that mid-afternoon latte? –  fatigue seriously affects both adults and children. Fussiness, irritability, and lack of attentiveness are symptoms of fatigue.  Lack of sleep interferes with learning, affects social behavior, and creates an obstacle to success in school and life.

While most people may aim for eight hours of sleep per night, research cited in Newsweek* magazine recommended at least 10.5 hours of sleep for sixth grade children.  Younger children, experts say, need even more sleep for optimal health and development!  Research also indicates that when parents provide consistent sleep routines for the family, children are happier, more self-assured, less demanding and more sociable.  Same benefits apply to adults, of course.

Experts offer the following tips for helping children get adequate, quality sleep:

  • Set a regular time for bed each night and stick to it
  • Establish a calm bedtime routine, such as a warm bath, followed by a short story
  • Avoid big meals close to bedtime, and no caffeine within six hours of sleep
  • Make evening play relaxing; avoid television before bed
  • Create a quiet, dim, relaxing space for sleep. If necessary, use a small nightlight.

Family rituals around bedtime should be simple and calming.  A warm bath, a short story, and little snuggle are all most children need to settle down for a restful night’s sleep. The same sort of routine works wonders for grown-ups too :)

What is your favorite family ritual? Post a comment to join the conversation!

Until next time,

Delila

*Newsweek, Fall/Winter 2000