Tag Archives: natural health

Liberating the mothers of humanity

Posted on by
8

“Patience is also a form of action”  ~ Auguste Rodin

It’s tricky being a woman.  We tend to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders and believe we’re responsible for everything around us.

Our children make bad decisions and we question our parenting skills.

A business deal falls through and we wonder how we could have saved it.

A partner is acting strange and we assume it’s somehow our fault.

As women and mothers, we have the power to influence the emotional wellness of those around us, especially our loved ones. Yet, we often take on this responsibility at our own expense.

I took  an unexpected and unwelcome hiatus from this blog due to a series of events and circumstances which have shaken my emotional foundation and left me temporarily at a loss for words.  Over the last several months two beloved family members have passed away and, as if that isn’t enough to manage,  I’ve been named in an ugly, costly and time-consuming lawsuit. As a result, any sense of “normalcy” seems to be lost for the moment.

Despite the physical, emotional and financial trauma surrounding my present circumstances, there are still bills to pay,  deadlines to meet, meals to prepare, and a never-ending pile of laundry calling my name.  And there is a hard truth to face: It’s time to truly accept that life sometimes brings circumstances beyond my control.

I realize it’s time to stop trying to control my circumstances, and return to the care of the ONE THING over which I have some control… myself.

To me, caring for myself means the occasional, unapologetic soak in the tub with a gin and tonic and a trashy gossip magazine.  It means sleeping in ‘til noon from time to time, adding a line item for massage to my monthly budget, and giving myself  permission to walk away from the computer in favor of back-to-back episodes of Glee with my son.   As a mother, business owner, and the sole bread-winner in my family, these are guilty pleasures I rarely allow myself and I’m realizing… maybe it’s time I should!

What guilty pleasure can you allow yourself today?  Choose a good one and please, share it in the comment section below for other Wize Mamas to see.

Life can come at us pretty fast and, as women, we feel it deeply when things aren’t going as planned.  Here’s to liberating ourselves from the need to be the mothers of humanity. And here’s to nurturing ourselves with what we need to be and feel our best.

It’s good to be back.

Much love until next time,

Delila

Holiday Hype got you down?

Posted on by
Reply

While the central premise of marketing revolves around the idea that buying things will make us “happy”,  a study of materialistic values among children determined that kids who have the most in a material sense tend to be the least generous, the least content, and the less confident (From Natural Life Magazine, March/April 2008). This revelation comes as no surprise to any parent who has witnessed the tearful tantrums of a child caught up in the vicious cycle of  begging for “things” – candy, toys or the immediate object of their desire – only to discover that the joy at having acquired the thing is fleeting and empty.

Yet, this is what we face as consumers… holiday hype and commercial marketing often seems to overshadow the real meaning of the season.

What if commercial holidays were no more worthy of celebration than the loss of a tooth; the changing of the seasons; the sprouting of a seed; the birth of a child; or the historical milestones of any culture?  And what if we honored each of these milestones with equal reverence and without regard for commercial hype?

I offer these few simple suggestions for slowing down and staying connected to the things that really matter this holiday season:

Walk outdoors and collect objects from nature – pinecones, autumns last leaves, rocks and twigs can make a festive winter table decoration.

Keep a Gratitude Journal: Every member of the family can share one thing for which they are thankful. This becomes a lovely keepsake treasure of shared moments.

Volunteer: There is perhaps no better way to remain mindful of the real meaning of “giving” than to serve those less fortunate.

Feed the birds: Large pinecones smeared with nut butter and rolled in birdseed make a tasty treat for birds…hang them in a place where you can observe what happens

I wish you a holiday season filled with Joy, Peace, Gratitude & Love.

Until next time,

Delila

Helping Children to Help Themselves

Posted on by
Reply

Anyone who has ever parented a toddler can identify with the struggle which often ensues when a well-meaning adult rushes in to “help” a child with a task they are attempting to do on their own. Such conflicts are intense and emotional and often result in a sense of defeat for both child and parent.   In these moments we realize that the babies we once held so close are no longer babies and they don’t need quite as much assistance – or at least not the same kind of assistance – as they once did.

Many times the best way a parent can help is to move aside and allow the child to find her way. Given the proper support, even the youngest child can learn to manage many aspects of life independently. With a new school year beginning, this is the perfect time to support your young child in becoming more independent in managing personal needs such as getting dressed and using the bathroom. These familiar activities require the mastery of many individual skills which, once accomplished, bring the child to a new level of independence and self confidence.

Here are some tips to help you and your child along in the process:

Dressing with Independence

  • Store your child’s clothing in a low drawer or on a low rod, making it easily accessible.
  • Fill the drawer with clothing choices that are easy for the child to manage. For a toddler, for example, elastic waistbands and pullover shirts are good choices.
  • Organize the contents of the drawer, making the items visible and accessible. For example, make sure shirts are all in one place, socks in another, etc.
  • Stock the drawer and/or closet with ONLY seasonally appropriate clothing. For example, shorts, tank tops and sandals should be packed away during the winter months.  This way, your child cannot make a ‘wrong’ choice.
  • Make sure EVERY item of clothing can be managed independently by the child.  Buttons, snaps and suspenders are all difficult for very young children to manage.
  • Avoid battles of will by storing ‘fancy’ or formal clothing (anything that is not school-appropriate attire) in a separate place, reserved for ‘special’ occasions.
  • Allow your child the creative freedom to combine patterns and colors of his own choosing, from among the clothing choices available to him. In this way, he will gain confidence in his ability to manage independently and will begin to develop his own personal style preferences.

Managing Bathroom needs Independently

  • Break down the Bathroom Routine into logical steps which include taking down clothes, wiping, washing and flushing independently. Once this simple routine is established, be consistent and avoid doing for the child what she is able to do for herself.
  • Dress For (potty) Success: It’s enough of a challenge for a young child to anticipate the need to go and then get to the bathroom in time, without complicating the process by adding snaps, buttons and bows.  Keep it simple. Elastic waistbands and easy-fitting clothes are the best choices for little ones learning to be independent with bathroom needs.

Learning to dress oneself or use the toilet independently helps children grow in self awareness and self esteem. Rewards or incentives are neither necessary nor helpful to the child because his acquisition of independent life skills, self-confidence and trust in his own abilities are the real reward. And this intangible reward becomes clearly evident in the ear-to-ear grin of the child who has just completed a task independently.  “I did it myself!” is music to every Wize Mama’s ears.

Until next time,

Delila

Renewing the Spirit: Nurturing the Nurturer

Posted on by
3

I’ve been writing this blog for almost a year and in that time I’ve been pleasantly surprised to discover that this online community attracts women of all kinds and in all stages of life… even those who are not mothers.

This confirms a trend I’ve been noticing for awhile: In this day and age, women are not subscribing to traditional roles. Instead, we are insisting that our lives be a reflection of who we truly are and not simply who we feel we should be. Motherhood, while often an important facet of our female experience, is only one aspect of our womanhood.

Yet, the shared quality of nurturing – mothering – seems to be a natural inclination for most women. The problem is, in our efforts to nurture and care for others – families, friends, co-workers, etc. – we often neglect our own needs. It’s a bit of a conundrum. How can we juggle all the responsibilities of our personal and professional lives without neglecting our own personal needs?

No matter where we find ourselves in life, at times we crave the kind of caretaking we offer others, the kind we may ourselves have experienced as children. As women, I believe it’s up to us to support each other in getting these personal needs met, in taking the time to nurture ourselves, and in an ongoing commitment to placing our own needs at the top of the priority list… at least some of the time.

This blog is dedicated to all the women who give, nurture, and care. It is intended to acknowledge and celebrate the many facets of our womanhood; and to inspire greater attention to our own needs and desires.

Many years ago I established a self care ritual I continue to practice almost every day, no matter what else is going on in my life. Just before bed I turn off phones, lock the bathroom door, light a candle and run a hot Epsom salt bath infused with essential oils. I allow myself to soak until my body is relaxed and my mind is clear. Whether I can carve out 5 minutes or 30 minutes, this simple ritual always leaves me feeling nurtured and renewed.

I asked several dynamic women friends – each of whom juggle busy personal and professional schedules with incredible guts and grace – how they keep it all together.  Here are their self care secrets:

Jane Crawford, Owner and LMT (www.lavenderstonemassage.com) “Dry body brushing is an important part of my morning self-care routine. The hour I spend focused on my body and my healing allows me to be that much more present to the needs of my family and my clients.”

Kellie Jean Lewis, Reiki Master & Massage Therapist (www.kelliejeanreiki.com) “Each morning I write down 10 things for which I’m grateful as well as 10 things I want to attract to my life. I write them as if they are already happening. I then take a moment to get very clear about my intentions for that day, and I write those down as well. I read all of what I’ve just written, aloud. In this way, I start each day grounded in gratitude and positive intention.”

Kristie Connor, High-tech Marketing Specialist & Blogger (www.girlstalkingtech.com) “I keep it simple: every day I try to make time for one or two small but significant activities that feel relaxing and rejuvenating to my spirit.  It might be an extra 5 minutes of snuggle time with my son, a deep breathing exercise, a few jumps on the trampoline, a short walk, or a conversation with a friend. When I do this, I feel my stress melt away.”

Erin Donley, Marketing Consultant and Business Coach (www.marketingyourtruth.com) “ I often enlist advice and nurturing from a 3rd party perspective. For example, I work regularly with a business/life coach, and I occasionally seek counsel from one of the many astounding intuitive healers in Portland. This helps me see my situation from a new angle and, often times, clarity and a deeper understanding of myself and my priorities is all I need to regain balance, security, and confidence.

Diane Bays, Owner (www.healthyspacesonline.com) “I’ve always carved out time to nurture my spiritual life through women’s retreats and getaways, which is one way I have modeled for my children the importance of self-care. When I acknowledge my own needs as equally important, I hope I am inspiring them to seek balance in their own lives.”

Joanna Flores, Owner and L.Ac., M.Ac.O.M., ABT (www.groundspring.net) “After I put the kids to bed, I sit for 5 minutes and replay the events of the day to allow any unfinished business to complete and make its way out of my space.  My reward for doing this is I sleep wonderfully and I wake rested.  If I don’t, then I find myself fidgeting and restless.”

Christine Thum Schlesser, Owner and VP of Operations (www.advantig.net) “I treat myself to a weekly session with a fabulous acupuncturist who blends several traditional Asian techniques to help me maintain a healthy life balance.”

Please take the time to post a comment and share your own favorite strategies for personal renewal.  If you don’t have one, I hope you’re feeling inspired to carve out regular time for self care! You totally deserve it.

Until next time,

Delila