Tag Archives: Montessori

The Nature of Childhood

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During a peewee soccer game, one tiny player stared up into the sky, his eyes intently following the path of an orange butterfly. The coach and many spectators loudly called his name, but the ball rolled right past him without notice. His attention was elsewhere … in nature.

Children innately love nature. They crave connection with the living environment.

As they skip and tumble through the grass, collecting handfuls of leaves or carefully studying the movement of an insect, we may be reminded how much the ever-changing canvas of earth is a vital part of life.

Yet, according to Richard Louv, author of Last Child in the Woods, only 6 percent of children ages 9 to 13 spend time playing outdoors apart from when they’re at school.

For a number of reasons, including increased access to technology, children are spending less time outdoors and in unstructured play than ever before. For many parents and educators, this sparks concern that they could become increasingly isolated from the essential experience of exploring their natural world.

Most adults can recall summer days spent picking wild berries, counting the legs on a woolly bear caterpillar, making daisy or dandelion chains or scooping polliwogs into a jar with the hope of growing a frog. These memories became pivotal moments of childhood that lit up our creativity and ignited our sense of awe.

We learned important things about life and the world through this unstructured play time. It’s why we seek outdoor camps and summer programs for our children.

Engaging the Senses

Montessori education is known for using nature and the living environment to engage a child’s senses. Students gain creative control over their indoor and outdoor spaces through purposeful activities that teach responsibility for self, others and the environment. This encourages hands-on exploration and participation that takes awareness and learning to new heights.

In my parent outreach work at West Hills Montessori, one comment I hear frequently from visitors is, “The children seem so happy.” They are happy because there’s diversity, self-direction and a sense of balance built into their day.

Instead of turning to the nearest adult (or computer) for answers to their questions, Montessori kids explore indoor and outdoor classrooms which serve as laboratories where they make real life discoveries about the world. This gives their learning a deep and relevant meaning that stays with them long after they leave the school.

For this reason and many others, Montessori is a great choice for many families. It’s also a source of inspiration during the summer months for parents who want to infuse a little more nature into their child’s experience.

Here are a few suggestions you can try at home to keep nature play at the forefront of your child’s summer experience:

Offer tools of outdoor exploration.

Binoculars, gloves, magnifying glasses, bug nets and boxes are essential tools of outdoor exploration. Your child will use these in ways that amaze and delight you.

Plant and tend a family garden.

Even the smallest outdoor space can be transformed by the addition of garden rows or containers for planting, a (child-sized) bench for working and resting, and a variety of (adult- and child-sized) tools such as shovels, trowels, pruners, watering cans and gloves. Collaborate with your child to choose plants, vegetables and fruits you will enjoy tending and harvesting together.

Familiarize yourself with the plant and animal species that surround you.

Walking and hiking with children is a lovely way to connect with each other while engaging more deeply with the natural world. Try keeping an adventure journal in which family members can record, with words or drawings or any media you choose, plant and animal sightings and other noteworthy nature events.

Go outside and play!

The same technology that has the potential to distract our children from the activities that ignite their imaginations can isolate us as well. When we unplug electronics for a little while and step outdoors to play with our children, we may rediscover a magical world that calls us to slow down and enjoy the journey more.

-Delila

This article appeared in Portland Family Magazine in June, 2013.  See more at: http://www.portlandfamily.com/posts/the-nature-of-childhood/

Separation Anxiety: when it’s hard to say goodbye…

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Whew! Writing this post took me back to my son’s first day of Montessori school… eleven years ago. That doesn’t seem possible!  I can still feel myself fighting back tears as I mustered a bright and enthusiastic send off as my “baby” hurried off to join his new friends.That first day was relatively easy for him, but incredibly difficult for me.

Separation anxiety is no fun for parent or child, but it is a natural part of growing up.

Babies and toddlers go through an anxiety phase (usually, between 7 – 24 months) because they have not yet developed an understanding of object permanence, meaning; they don’t yet understand  that important people continue to exist even when they are out of sight.

This kind of anxiety sometimes appears again, briefly, when children start school. By this age (3 and older) the child does understand that people go away and come back again, but may need extra reassurance that familiar objects and people will reappear when the school day is done. Once trust is established – they know mama or papa will return to pick them up after school – the child can let go of anxious feelings and move into the school day with a sense of confidence.

No matter how wonderful the school and the teacher may be, the first day of school represents something new and unknown in the life of the child, and also in the life of the parent.  Therefore, the way in which parents prepare for and communicate about this big change is a critically important factor in the child’s experience.

Here are a few timely tips for easing first-day-of-school jitters:

  • Read a book to encourage your child’s questions and prepare for the experience of going to school – it’s nice to do this many times before the first day of school arrives.  Check out Sam and Gram and the First Day of School by Dianne Blomberg.
  • Make sure your child gets plenty of sleep; push bedtime back, if necessary, to assure your child awakes calm and happy and with plenty of time to dress, eat breakfast, and get out the door without feeling rushed or anxious about the time. Click for some additional tips on creating healthy bedtime rituals.
  • Involve your child in preparations for school, such as helping to pack a lunch and laying out clothing the night before, and preparing breakfast in the morning. Allowing the child to be fully involved in the process instills confidence and positive feelings about the new school experience. Click for some additional tips on dressing for independence.
  • Engage in pleasant, positive car conversations – be sure to convey your excitement and confidence in your child’s new school. And remind them that you’ll be back to pick them up, after their fun day at school.
  • Turn off your cell phone, so you can give your undivided attention to your child and facilitate a smooth transition. Same goes for pick up – when you are talking on your cell phone you are not being present for your child.
  • Once at the classroom door, share a short goodbye – a warm hug and a kiss, and a reminder that you’ll be back when school is out. Remain positive and enthusiastic, even if (especially if) your child seems reluctant. Prolonged goodbyes are difficult for the child and the parent, and do not help the transition to school. Same goes for peering through the window or lingering in the parking lot – if your child sees you doing this, it will only indicate to them that you are not comfortable and, therefore, they won’t be comfortable either.
  • If your child is having difficulty entering the classroom or is unwilling to physically separate from you (you know, like when they are wrapped around your pant leg…), allow a teacher to assist. Remember, pre-school teachers have lots of experience with just such a scenario.
  • If your child eats lunch at school, it’s really lovely to include a simple note – something like:  “Dear Elliott,   I love you.  ~Mama” This is a meaningful ritual which provides a nice touchstone to home and family while fitting in nicely with the child’s experience at school.

Most parents feel a mixture of joy and sadness as the child reaches each new level of independence. As difficult as it may seem to send your little one off to their new school for a few hours, keep in mind the reasons you chose this experience for your child.

Wize Mamas – what are some tips can you share for easing first-day-of-school anxiety, or for when those “I don’t want to go to school!” days rear their ugly heads?  Please join the conversation!

Post your comments by clicking on the title of this post (above) and then clicking in the comment box (below).

Until next time,

Delila

Are Schools Killing Creativity?

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Wize Mamas,

I just viewed a video on TED which really captured my imagination and got me thinking –  and I think you’ll see why (link below).

Sir Ken Robinson, Ph.D., challenges the way our public school systems educate our children and champions educational philosophies – such as Montessori and Waldorf – which cultivate creativity and allow children to discover their own true interests and passions.

“We have to rethink the fundamental principles on which we are educating our children..  to see our children for the hope that they are… to educate their whole being so they can face the future… and make something of it” ~Sir Ken Robinson

Click to hear Dr. Robinson’s throught-provoking talk on TED.

What can schools do to encourage creativity and creative thinking in children? Post your comments by clicking on title of this post (at the top) and then filling in the comment box (at the bottom).

Until next time,

Delila

Toilet Learning

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Today’s topic is loaded… pun intended!

Toilet learning represents a huge step in independence for the young child and a big change in routine for parents as well. The process can be undertaken at any age, but the child’s interest and readiness should determine the timing. I’ve never heard a parent report success using one of those “toilet training in a day” programs, probably because they do not take into account the child’s natural pace and overall readiness to tackle the process.

Watch for signs of early interest. Young children are naturally inclined to imitate adults and siblings – brushing teeth like papa or washing hands like mama. This is how they learn the rituals and routines of family life. When you notice your child imitating these kinds of bathroom routines is a good time to introduce the toilet sequence (pulling down pants; sitting on the toilet; wiping afterward; washing hands; flushing, etc). The sequence is easily mastered, just like any other practical life skill, when a child has the opportunity to practice and explore.

Be ready to take action when your child shows an interest, regardless of their timing. When toilet training is postponed or when the child is not allowed to become independent when their early interest dictates, the process become onerous and frustrating for both children and parents. Out of frustration, parents may turn to the use of rewards and punishments, which are rarely effective and usually draw out the process even further.

Here are some practical potty learning tips I’ve gathered over the years:

  • Choose Natural Fibers/Fabrics. Natural cotton fiber is gentlest on baby’s tender skin and allows the child to sense wetness and eventually to make the connection between the wetness they experience and the biological impulse to use the toilet. The absorbency of disposable diapers prevents toddlers from sensing when they have urinated, thus undermining the child’s natural tendency to gain independence in managing bodily functions. Disposable diapers also contain chemicals which are toxic to the baby and unfriendly to the planet.
  • Allow Exploration & Encourage Imitation. Latching the bathroom door or securing the toilet lid sends a confusing message to the child when they see other members of the family using the bathroom at will. Allow your child to see what’s going on in the bathroom, to become familiar with the toilet routine.  Children learn by watching.  If your toddler seems fascinated with playing in the water in the toilet, try gently redirecting him to a water table or basin of water for play in another room. He will soon learn that the water in the toilet has a different purpose.
  • Get some “Potty” Books. My son’s favorite (board book) was Everyone Poops by Taro Gomi. We must’ve read it a thousand times!
  • Prepare a Potty: Even if you are using a child sized potty chair rather than an insert for an adult sized toilet seat, I recommend keeping the potty in the bathroom.  Using the toilet in different rooms of the house can create confusion for the child since, in the real world, the bathroom is the only room with a toilet.
  • Dress For (potty) Success: See my previous post on dressing for independence . It’s enough of a challenge for a young child to anticipate the need to go and then get to the bathroom in time, without complicating the process by adding snaps, buttons and bows.  Keep it simple. Elastic waistbands and easy-filling clothes are the best choices for little ones learning to be independent.
  • Set up a Child-sized Changing Station: When you notice your child beginning to anticipate the biological urge to use the toilet, it’s time to set up a bathroom ‘changing station’ at their  level.  Set out a supply of cotton training pants on a low shelf in the bathroom, along with a supply of clothes or wipes, so when an accident occurs the child is able to take off the wet/soiled underwear, clean their bottom, and put on a clean pair. A hamper for soiled underpants and wet clothes/towels should be available in the same space, at the child’s level. Potty “accidents” are a logical occurrence during the process of toilet learning, the same as spilling food occurs frequently when one is learning to use a spoon. The more the child is able to manage on her own, the greater her sense of self confidence and easier the transition to complete bathroom independence. Obviously, parents should be available to fully support the process and assist with cleaning as needed.
  • Recognize Independence as Its Own Reward: Learning to use the toilet is the child’s work, not the parents. Rewards and punishment are neither necessary nor helpful. The child’s acquisition of independent life skills, self-confidence and trust in his own abilities are the real reward… which is clearly evident in the ear-to-ear grin of the child who has just completed a task independently.  “I did it myself!” is music to every Wize Mama’s ears.

Toilet training, like every other practical life skill, is learned easily when the child is ready for the next level of independence. It is a self-motivated process which proceeds based upon the child’s interest, desire for independence, and biological readiness.  One way or another, when the timing is right, everybody poops!

What potty learning strategies worked best for your family?  Please post your comments!

Until next time,

Delila

Dressing for Independence and Self Esteem

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Anyone who has parented a toddler can identify with the struggle which ensues when a well-meaning adult rushes in to “help” the child with a task they are attempting to do on their own.

Imagine this scenario: the child has pushed her head through the armhole of her favorite ‘princess’ dress, the dirty one she’s been wearing every day for the past week, and the parent is determined to get her into something more suitable for her first day of school.    In this moment the child is expressing her need for  independence, while the adult struggles to gain control of the situation and the child.  Such conflicts are intense and emotional and usually result in a sense of defeat for both child and parent.

Following are some tips for supporting your child’s need to independently  manage their clothing. With a new school year just around the corner, these simple strategies can make mornings easier and more pleasant for children and parents:

  • Store the child’s clothes in a low drawer or on a low rod, so they are easy to access.
  • Fill drawers with clothing choices that are easy for the child to manage. For example: for a three year-old, elastic waistbands and pullover shirts are good choices; buttons, snaps, belts and suspenders are not.
  • Limit Choices.  Too many options can be overwhelming for the child.  I recommend including no more than several of each item – shirt, pants, socks, etc.  The child may choose one of each item on a given day.  Make sure every item of clothing you put in the drawer and closet are acceptable to you. Then, within these limits allow the child to make their own choice of color/style. Try to let go of adult expectations – who says stripes and plaids don’t match?
  • Stock the drawer or closet with ONLY seasonally appropriate clothing. For example, shorts, tank tops and sandals should be packed away during the winter months.  This way, the child cannot make a ‘wrong’ or inappropriate  choice.
  • Avoid battles of will by storing ‘fancy’, costume, or formal clothing (anything that is not school-appropriate attire) in an entirely separate place. As the parent, it is your responsibility to decide which things are available at all times and which only come out for special occasions, or for play.
  • Allow the child the creative freedom to combine patterns and colors of their own choosing, from among the limited options you have provided.   Try to let go of your need for your child to look or dress a certain way.  Through the experience of making their own choices, the child gains confidence in their ability to manage independently and begins to develop their own personal style preferences.
  • When the child is headed for the laundry hamper to pull out the favorite (dirty) item of clothing, calmly remind them that they may choose from among the items in their drawer/closet and that the favorite dress will be available on another day.

We can’t control the child – and we shouldn’t try – but we can control the choices we offer. While it takes some time to put the above preparations in place, it’s well worth the effort.  As independence increases, so does the child’s sense of self esteem and confidence in their own abilities.

I’m smiling as I recall a few of my Montessori students whose colorful, eclectic attire revealed their independence, self-confidence, and unique fashion sense. In honor of them, today I may wear stripes and polka dots. :)

Have you got some tried and true tricks for helping children get dressed independently? Post a comment to join the conversation!

Given the right kind of  support even the youngest child can learn to manage many aspects of life independently. My next post will focus on the topic of toilet training. Stay tuned!

Until next time,

Delila

Welcome to the MamaWize Community!

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Welcome to MamaWize!  I’m Delila Olsson, a mother, writer, speaker and consultant.  I am also a Montessori educator with many years  experience working with children and mentoring parents and caregivers.

The initial inspiration for my blog came about during a recent late-night chat with a group of women friends, as we were sitting around doing what women naturally do… discussing our families, sharing resources, and brainstorming solutions. I believe it really does take a village to raise a child and to nagivate the inevitable pitfalls of modern living.

This blog will feature articles and discussions on relevant topics such as common parenting questions and practices, educational philosophies, and strategies for managing life.

This is a place for real conversations about whatever comes up.  Thanks to Jen, Amy, Seana and Jeanne Mare for your encouragement to start blogging and to Dia, the wize mama who came up with the name!

Welcome to our village.

~Delila