Tag Archives: mamawize

There and Back and Home Again

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I almost died when I was 9 years old.

One hot summer afternoon during day camp, I wanted so badly to careen down a rock slide with the other kids. But I wasn’t a swimmer.

Not wanting to be left behind, I wrapped my arms around the waist of another child and held on for dear life. When we reached the bottom, unable to stand up, I was pulled down by the undertow.

Gasping for breath, I felt panic and terror.  When I finally stopped struggling, a surprising sense of warmth and comfort took over.  Cradled by the water, images began to appear before me… faces of people I loved, smiling and laughing, snapshots of my favorite memories… glimpses of home.

Then, as cliché as it seems, I saw a bright light in the distance. Whatever it was called out to me and it felt like HOME.

Upon awakening, my first sensation was the warmth of stone against my cheek. Leaning against a large rock in the sun, my bare feet rested on the earth. I was breathing again.

In that moment, a soothing voice whispered from somewhere, “It isn’t your time to go.”

I don’t remember who rescued me or what was said afterwards. I do recall my Mom’s reaction to my story, her parental fear and pain evident in the look of panic on her face and her quick “Oh, you’re fine,” dismissal of the incident. (Believe me, the long term effects of that statement required more than a few hours of therapy!)

Following the accident, my view of “home” was never the same. While I didn’t understand what had happened to me in the water that day, I knew I had glimpsed the doorway to something extraordinary and wonderful… a place I would visit again when it was ‘my time.’

Within the last year, both of my parents passed away.  When I walk into our family home, memories of the voices and laughter from hundreds of gatherings are still fully present.  But the silence that now fills those spaces reminds me that no matter how fully we live within the walls of a home, physical structures do not have the capacity to contain the souls who are just passing through.

A few weeks ago, I held my father’s hand as he took his final breaths.  I wasn’t ready to say goodbye, but I knew he was at peace. Having almost passed through that doorway myself, I knew he had arrived at long last – home again.

~Delila

 

Wize Woman of the Month: Sherry Jordan

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Sherry B Jordan

“Wize Woman of the Month” showcases extraordinary women among us. Today, we feature Sherry Jordan , Executive Business Coach and Change Management Consultant.

Sherry’s career path reflects steady dedication and momentum, despite personal and professional adversity. Her ability to help others find what’s important and get back on track attracts a steady stream of executives to Sherry’s private and group programs. She is the owner of Northwest Coaching Group and the author of the popular blog, Entrepreneur Executive.

Here’s a look at what makes Sherry Jordan tick:

What makes you feel most alive? Nothing is as exciting to me as being presented with a new challenge and having to “find my way” through it. I love the learning process, the sense of power as I realize my ability to master a new skill or concept, and the excitement of knowing new discoveries await me through each stage of life. Real life examples for me include striving to achieve early admission to college in my teens; moving to a new city and learning to be on my own in my twenties; reaching corporate executive status while at the same time battling cancer in my thirties; and going back to college to discover a new career path in my forties. Now in my fifth decade of life, the grand adventure continues. I am grateful to be here and eager to discover what lies ahead…

My mom always told me… the only thing you can control is your attitude. Deceased for 26 years, her indomitable spirit lives on for me in this phrase which has been a common mantra in my life. I can’t think of a better gift a parent can give a child, than the notion that one can survive anything… with the right attitude. Whether mustering the strength to declare “I can do it” or the courage to surrender and allow the circumstances to unfold, my mother’s voice echoes in my mind and heart. I still miss her every day.

This always takes priority in my life: My relationships. I run a successful business, work long hours and manage a heavy client load, yet my primary relationships with my husband, family and friends take utmost priority in my life. I believe we only have one chance to do this right, and at the end of the day we will all be remembered more for the quality of our relationships than for what we accomplished professionally. I am presently supporting my 86 year old father following a series of health setbacks over the past several months. The circumstances have required me to take many weeks away from my business and, despite the physical and emotional toll of thousands of miles of travel; I consider it an honor and privilege to share this life experience with him.

Who or what inspires you? I am inspired by people who overcome adversity against overwhelming odds; by those who are driven by faith in that which they cannot see; by those who continue to see the best in others and the world, despite personal heartbreak and disappointment; by those who dig deep to discover their own beauty and potential, even when no one else seems to; and, by those who value the simple things in life more than the acquisition of money and power. I am inspired by the hope of newborn babies, by the human potential for compassion, and by the awareness that beauty and inspiration can be found almost anywhere… when we have the eyes (and the attitude) to see.

What’s the one thing you’ve accepted about yourself with age? I’ve accepted that I don’t need to be an expert at everything. I’ve learned to delegate tasks for which I don’t have the time, interest or skill sets… to the people who do. I’ve learned that when I can focus on my strengths, the weaknesses suddenly become less important.

Who are you a mom to? I tend to be a mother to almost anyone who wants or needs one! In all seriousness, I perceive it as a great honor to take on the role of nurturer. I enjoy this kind of relationship with my two sons and my nephew, as well as many young fellow cancer survivors. The ability to provide support for friends, family and clients gives me enormous joy.

What advice would you give to other Wize Women? Don’t be concerned about what others think of you, but be very concerned about what you think of yourself. Spend time every day, working to improve your relationship with YOU.

Thanks to Sherry for sharing herself with us.
Until next time,
Delila

Preparing for Preschool

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Yesterday was the first day back for most of the children where I live. Starting school is a very big deal… especially for the youngest students and their parents.

Young children live in the present moment, and future time is a vague and confusing concept for them. Therefore, as we prepare our children for preschool, our parental attempts to build excitement can actually have the opposite effect… and can create added anxiety. Following are a few tried and true preparations which may help to ease the transition for your child, and also for you.

• Allow your child lots of opportunities to practice putting on and taking off their own shoes, and fastening and unfastening (or pulling up and down) clothing when using the bathroom. These important steps of independence build confidence and self-esteem, and also make life away from home much easier.

• Select and read aloud from children’s books about preschool or kindergarten and about making new friends. These stories provide indirect preparations for the new school experience to come, and reading them aloud may encourage your child’s spontaneous questions and curiosity. It’s nice to do this many times before the first day of school arrives. Check out Sam and Gram and the First Day of School by Dianne Blomberg.

• Begin adjusting your child’s sleep schedule several weeks before the first day of school, to avoid the additional stress exhaustion can add to the first day jitters. If they are not waking easily or happily, then continue to moving bedtime back until they wake on their own. Allow plenty of time in the morning for waking, dressing, and eating breakfast, so your child does not feel rushed or anxious. Once you’ve established a comfortable routine, stick to it.

• Share true stories about school with your children. They’ll love to hear the true stories about your own childhood, and these real life stories can provide a lot of information and comfort as they make their own transition to school.

• Engage in pleasant, positive car conversations as you pass the school. These might include some positive comments about the playground, teachers, or the new friends they’ll meet when school starts.

• Keep your parental anxiety in check. Go ahead and process your feelings of sadness or anxiousness or loss with your partner and friends, but don’t allow your child to hear or see your reservations about this next step of independence. The best way to ease your child’s transition anxiety is to convey confidence about the school, the classroom, and the exciting new journey your child’s is embarking upon.

What do you find most helpful for your own children when it comes to managing change and transition? I hope you’ll join the conversation and share your own insights and experiences with all of us!

Until next time,
Delila