Comments on: True Confessions: My Child Plays with Guns

By: Paula

Paula — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 03:51:16 +0000

Thanks for taking a stand on what is a controversial subject in many parenting circles. Your comment “what has changed is my response” is key, not only in the issue of playing with guns, but with many acts of aggression, and discipline, as well.

Please take a look at the book “Nutureshock: New Thinking About Children”. You’ll find some well-researched, thought-provoking essays to validate your posting and raise questions about others.

By: Leta

Leta — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 20:24:27 +0000

I think character is the best test of success in raising children. You know, full well, Delila, that my kids haven’t done things the way I’d like and have done things I don’t fully agree with, but their openness is refreshing, and I look at the character traits that are the foundation of their lives and see honesty, integrity, a strong work ethic, curiosity, creativity, responsibility, and so much more.

I certainly tried my share of shaming as a parent, but like you, found when I changed my response the relationship was improved and listening enhanced on both ends. It also moves us away from “what other people think” and into a place of authenticity with our kids.

Great post that not only applies to “guns” but to many of the values we try to instill as part of parenting. The reality is that we can teach them those values, but they will embrace them differently and that has to be respected. Perhaps part of having a “peaceful home” was not to do away with the weapons, but more about choosing which “battles” we fight emotionally in our home environment.

Thanks for being so transparent!

Leta

By: Kristie

Kristie — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 17:55:01 +0000

I wonder how I would feel about reading this post if I did not have children. Erin brings up an amazing point about “walking through life with a child”. I feel blessed to have been given this opportunity to walk through life with Conner. Right now Conner is telling jokes … he lights up with smiles and has an enchanting laughter. I am not sure if this is a boy thing or a 3-year old thing or maybe just a Conner thing. His jokes focus primarily on stuff he does in his diaper. My initial reaction was “no stories about diapers and the things that happen there”. But, I listened to a different voice. While he still tells his diaper jokes we are adding new ones (knock-knock). So, if you know any good ones let me know!

I loved this post because while Conner is not yet into guns he is a boy. It provided me with some much needed insight — how to cross over the lines, rules and our own ideas to be a mom who is authentic and while still error-prone seeks to create a supportive environment for things we don’t necessarily get.

I love boy stuff, but I am still a girl/women/lady (ugh). I was never into dolls and being into ‘boy’ things gave me an edge in the dating world, but when my 3-year old yells fart in the middle of the store I still shudder.

By: PJ Clark

PJ Clark — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 15:43:50 +0000

He seems like a great kid. With a pretty cool mom as well……

By: Erin Donley

Erin Donley — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 08:19:37 +0000

Delila,

I don’t have kids of my own, but reading this incredibly heartfelt story about how Elliot became YOUR teacher, really made me see how valuable and rewarding it must be to walk through life with a child.

Until I become a mom… IF I become a mom… I’ll enjoy these real conversations about being a parent with YOU. Thanks a lot for this.

Erin